First Week at Nursery: What’s Normal and What’s Not

Starting the first week at nursery can feel like stepping onto a brand-new planet — new faces, new routines, and a whole new rhythm to family life. One moment your child might skip in happily; the next, they’re glued to your leg. That’s all part of settling. In this guide, you’ll find clear, parent-friendly explanations of what typically happens in week one, what’s a sign to seek extra support, and how nurseries and families can work together to make things smoother. You’ll also get practical, day-to-day tips you can use tomorrow morning. Whether this is your first time navigating the first week at nursery or you’re returning after a break, consider this your calm, reassuring roadmap.

What’s Normal in the First Week at Nursery

Most children ride a wave of emotions as they adjust to people, routines, and expectations. These responses are common, expected, and usually short-lived.

Tearfulness and Clinginess at Drop-Off

It’s extremely common for children to cry, cling, or ask for “one more hug” as you say goodbye. This shows strong attachment, not failure to cope. In many cases, children settle within 10–15 minutes once engaged by their key person and the environment. You may see steady improvement across the first week at nursery, with the wobble often easing within a few days to two weeks.
What helps: Keep your goodbye brief and confident; agree a ritual (hug, phrase, wave at the window). Ask staff how long it takes for your child to settle after you leave so you can track progress.

Tiredness and Emotional Ups and Downs

New routines, noise levels, social play, and unfamiliar activities can be exhausting. Expect early nights, extra naps, and irritable tea-time moments. Even very sociable children often crash after the first week at nursery because their brains are working overtime to make sense of new patterns.
What helps: Pull bedtime forward, keep after-school plans light, and offer calm, predictable evenings with familiar toys and simple meals.

Changes in Appetite or Fluid Intake

Some children eat less at nursery at first — unfamiliar mealtimes, different flavours, or the excitement of play can dampen appetite. Others eat well at nursery but pick at dinner at home. Minor fluctuations are typical and usually improve across the first week at nursery and beyond.
What helps: Provide a light, reliable breakfast; send a named water bottle; and talk positively about nursery meals (“You might try the pasta today and tell me what it’s like”). Avoid pressure; gentle exposure works best.

Toileting Regressions

Accidents happen, even for children who are usually dry. New surroundings and stimulation can make body cues harder to notice. A blip in the first week at nursery is normal, particularly during play or just before pick-up when children are tired.
What helps: Pack spare clothes, agree regular toilet prompts with staff, and dress your child in easy-on, easy-off clothing.

Big Feelings at Pick-Up

The “reunion release” is real. Children may keep it together all day, then dissolve into tears the moment they see you. This can look like clinginess, crossness, or sudden upset. It’s a safe way of offloading emotions after a busy day.
What helps: Offer connection first (hug, snack, water) before questions. Keep the car or pram stocked with a simple snack to stabilise energy and mood after the first week at nursery days.

Shyness or Watchful Waiting

Some children hang back, observing the room, staff, and children before joining in. This quiet scanning is a healthy adjustment style and often shifts as trust grows with the key person and the routine.
What helps: Ask staff to buddy your child into small-group play, and celebrate tiny steps (“You watched circle time today — great noticing!”).

What’s Not Normal / When to Seek Support

The following signs don’t mean something is “wrong”, but they do suggest you and the nursery should problem-solve together and, if needed, loop in your GP or health visitor.

Persistent Distress at Drop-Off

If your child continues to cry hard at separation with no improvement after two weeks, or remains distressed throughout long stretches of the day, it’s time to review the plan.
What to try: Adjust the settling schedule, check the handover routine, and ensure frequent check-ins with the key person. Consider shorter sessions while confidence builds.

Refusal to Eat or Drink Over Multiple Days

A light appetite in the first week at nursery is common. However, repeated refusal to eat or drink across several days, especially alongside lethargy, warrants attention.
What to try: Share home food preferences, textures, and mealtime cues; ask for small, familiar options; monitor fluid intake; and consider a phased approach to nursery meals.

Ongoing Sleep Disturbance with Daytime Lethargy

Some bedtime wobble is expected. But sustained night-waking or much shorter sleep paired with daytime low energy or frequent zoning out needs discussion.
What to try: Bring bedtime forward, simplify evenings, and align nap opportunities with the nursery routine. Ask staff for observations on sleepiness and stimulation levels.

Concerning Behaviours

Watch for increasing aggression, frequent biting beyond typical toddler phases, ongoing withdrawal, or loss of previously secure skills without signs of settling.
What to try: Request a behaviour diary, look for triggers (tiredness, transitions, sensory overload), and build a plan with the key person featuring consistent responses and calming strategies.

Safety or Wellbeing Issues

If you have any concern about safety, supervision, or unresolved injuries, raise it promptly with leadership and document discussions. Children should feel secure and cared for across the first week at nursery and every week.
Important disclaimer: This guide is general information only. If red-flag symptoms persist or you’re worried, consult your nursery team, GP, or health visitor.

How Nurseries Support Transitions

Key Person Approach:
Your child is paired with a key person who becomes their secure base — greeting them at the door, offering comfort at wobbly moments, and learning their cues. This relationship speeds settling because trust sits with a predictable adult who understands your child’s interests, sensory needs, and calming strategies.
Phased Starts and Settling-In Sessions:
Many settings begin with short, parent-present visits, then short separations, building to half-days and full days. Phasing lets staff fine-tune strategies (e.g., water play first, cosy book corner after snack) so the first week at nursery is tailored rather than one-size-fits-all.
Consistent, Visual Routines:
Timetables, picture cues, and repeated sequences (arrive–hang coat–hello song) make transitions less mysterious. Predictability reduces separation anxiety and supports language development as children learn “what happens next.”
Comfort Objects and Transitional Items:
A named cuddly, muslin, or family photo bridges home and nursery. Staff can offer it at key times (goodbye, rest, or after a bump) so the child’s regulation system has a familiar anchor.
Communication Diaries and Apps:
Daily notes and photos keep you in the loop about naps, meals, nappy changes, toileting, activities, and highlights. This feedback loop helps you celebrate wins at home and spot patterns to improve the next drop-off.
Feedback and Review Meetings:
Quick doorstop chats, plus a check-in at the end of the first week at nursery, allow parents and staff to share observations and agree next steps — for example, different arrival times, new play invitations, or extra reassurance from the key person.

Practical Tips for Parents

Use these hands-on ideas to smooth mornings, drop-offs, and evenings in the first week at nursery and beyond.

Create a Calm Morning Routine

Pack the bag the night before (spares, nappies, wipes, labelled water bottle).
Wake 15 minutes earlier than usual to avoid rushing.
Offer a simple breakfast with protein and slow-release carbs (e.g., porridge with fruit).

Plan a Short, Confident Goodbye Ritual

Keep it predictable: coat hook, hug, phrase (“See you after snack time”), hand to key person, wave.
Don’t hover; confident exits communicate safety and trust.

Send a Transitional Object

A small cuddly or photo can be offered at tricky transitions (drop-off, nap).
Let staff know when to present it and how to store it.

Coordinate With Staff Daily

Ask how long settling took and what soothed your child.
Share home updates (teething, poor sleep, new interests) so staff can adapt the day.

Use Positive Scripting

Beforehand: “You’ll hang your coat, say hello, and play with the trains.”
Afterward: “You were brave at goodbye and had a splash in water play.” This builds a coherent story of success around the first week at nursery.

Keep Pick-Up Consistent

Arrive when promised; if delayed, call so staff can reassure your child.
Reconnect first (hug, water, snack) before questions.

Light Evenings

Fewer demands, simple tea, bath, story, early bed.
Save clubs, visits, or big treats for weekends until the first week at nursery is behind you.

Name and Tame Big Feelings

Offer simple language: “New places feel wobbly; you’re safe, and I’ll always come back.”
Model slow breaths and co-regulation.

Celebrate Small Wins

Consider a sticker chart or “proud postcard” to share with grandparents.
Focus on effort (“You tried snack time!”), not outcomes.

Prepare for Tomorrow Together

Pack the bag as a team; let your child choose one book for story time or a snack pot (if allowed).
Revisit the goodbye script so the first week at nursery feels predictable.

Comparison Table: What’s Normal vs What’s Not

Normal in Week One	Not Typical / Seek Support
Crying or clinging at drop-off; settles within 10–15 minutes; improves over days	Hard crying throughout sessions with no improvement after two weeks
Tired evenings; earlier bedtime needed	Persistent lethargy and low energy despite adequate sleep
Eating lightly or skipping some foods for a few days	Refusing food and fluids across multiple days or showing signs of dehydration
Occasional toileting accidents	Frequent, distressing accidents continuing beyond the initial weeks
“Reunion release” tears at pick-up	Escalating aggression or withdrawal that worsens over time
Quiet observation before joining play	Ongoing isolation from peers and activities with no signs of engagement
Minor ups and downs in mood	Safety concerns, unexplained injuries, or supervision worries — raise immediately

Quick Checklist: 10 Tips for Smoother Drop-Offs and Evenings

Label every item (clothes, shoes, bottle, comforter).
Pack spares and weather-appropriate layers the night before.
Offer a light, reliable breakfast and pack a named water bottle.
Keep goodbyes short, warm, and consistent.
Provide a transitional object (cuddly, photo).
Align nap and snack times with nursery where possible.
Share key updates with the key person at drop-off.
Plan calm, low-demand evenings with early bed.
Have a pick-up snack and water ready.
Celebrate small wins and note what helped for the next day.

Conclusion

The first week at nursery is a period of huge learning — for children and parents. Expect some tears, tiredness, and mixed feelings as everyone finds their feet. With a strong key-person bond, phased starts, predictable routines, and clear home–nursery communication, most children find their stride within a few days to two weeks. If worries persist, speak with staff and, if needed, your GP or health visitor.

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